Parenting from a Therapy Perspective: Embracing the Chaos with Compassion

Parenting is like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle—blindfolded. The highs are exhilarating (a smile from your child that could melt even the toughest heart), but the lows? They can feel like you've been hit with a rogue dodgeball during PE. It’s a wild ride, and sometimes it feels like no one really knows what’s going on. But what if we approached parenting with the same care and intention as we do therapy? Here’s a playful dive into parenting through the lens of a therapist—and how it can make your journey (and sanity) just a little bit easier.

1. Parenting is Like Therapy (for Everyone)

In therapy, we create a safe space for people to express their emotions, work through their challenges, and discover ways to cope. As parents, we do this every single day. When your child has a meltdown because you told them they couldn’t have another biscuit, you’re not just playing referee. You’re channeling your inner therapist—helping them understand their emotions, cope with frustration, and develop emotional intelligence. And when your own patience is running thin, it's an opportunity for you to process your feelings and practice self-compassion. You may not have a diploma, but trust me, you’re a therapist in training.

2. Emotional Validation: The Secret Sauce

One of the core tenets of therapy is validating emotions. You might hear therapists say, "I understand how you feel," or "It’s okay to be upset." It sounds simple, but in the throes of parenting, this is gold. When your child is inconsolable because they can't find their favourite toy, rather than brushing off their feelings with a "It's not a big deal," try validating them: “I can see that you're really upset about your toy. It’s hard when things go missing.” This teaches kids that their feelings are important and helps them feel seen.

Pro tip for parents: Validation doesn’t mean you’re giving in. It just means acknowledging the emotion before gently guiding them to a solution. You’re not saying, “You’re right, you can have the biscuit,” but you are saying “I get that you're really wanting that biscuit right now.”

3. Boundaries Are a Gift (Yes, Seriously)

In therapy, establishing boundaries is critical to healthy relationships. The same goes for parenting. Children thrive when they know where the boundaries are—even if they test them every five minutes. Setting clear, consistent rules provides security and structure. But here's the twist: boundaries are not walls. They're more like guardrails on a rollercoaster. They help steer your child toward safety while still allowing them the freedom to explore. So, when your toddler is trying to convince you that "No, Mummy, I can have dessert before dinner,” remember boundaries are not a punishment—they’re an essential part of healthy emotional development.

4. The Power of Empathy

Therapists know that empathy is a powerful tool for healing. When you meet your child where they are emotionally, you're not just hearing their words; you're listening to their needs. That means acknowledging when they're upset without brushing it off or getting frustrated. For example, if your child is nervous about a new school, instead of saying, "Oh, you'll be fine," try, "I can understand why you're feeling nervous about this big change. It's okay to feel that way." This approach gives them space to talk about their feelings and opens the door for you to help them work through it.

Pro tip for empathy in parenting: It works even when the emotions are not your own. If your child is feeling embarrassed about their mistake, show empathy, not sympathy. "I see that you're feeling embarrassed. Everyone makes mistakes, and that's how we learn!"

5. Modeling Self-Care (Because You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup)

A therapist's job is often about teaching client’s self-care and healthy coping strategies. As parents, you’re the ultimate role model for your kids, even when you don’t realise it. Taking care of yourself—not just physically, but emotionally—is essential. When you show your kids that it’s okay to take breaks, practice mindfulness, or ask for help, you’re teaching them how to prioritise their own well-being.

Set aside time for that bubble bath, call a friend, read a book, or simply breathe deeply for five minutes. Trust me, your kids are watching—and they’re learning from your actions, not just your words.

6. Progress, Not Perfection

Therapists are all about progress, not perfection. And guess what? Parenting is no different. Every day is a new opportunity for growth—for both you and your child. Celebrate the small wins: the first time your child shares their toy without a meltdown, the day they remember to say "please" and "thank you," or even the day they don’t scream over broccoli. Parenting isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about creating an environment where both you and your child can evolve and learn together. So, don’t stress about having all the answers. Even the most seasoned parents are just figuring it out as they go.

7. Laugh It Off (Therapist-Approved)

Therapists often use humour as a tool to lighten the mood and make clients feel more comfortable. Parenting can be so serious sometimes, but taking a moment to laugh can release tension and build connection. So, when your toddler insists that the dog is a "talking unicorn" or when your 8-year-old argues that "homework is a conspiracy," try to embrace the ridiculousness of it all. Laughter doesn’t solve everything, but it certainly makes the ride a lot more enjoyable.

Final Thoughts: Parenting is a Therapy Session, But You’re the Therapist and the Client

In many ways, parenting is an ongoing therapy session. You’re learning how to navigate your child’s emotions while learning about yourself in the process. The key is to embrace the mess, practice patience, and use the same tools therapists use every day: validation, empathy, boundaries, self-care, and humour. You’ve got this—just remember to take it one deep breath at a time. And if you ever need a reminder that you're doing great, just remember that therapy is a journey, not a destination. You're allowed to be a work in progress, too!

So, pour yourself a cup of tea, sit back, and give yourself a pat on the back. Parenting from a therapy perspective isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, love, and learning along the way.

If you need support around your parenting journey reach out today!